I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
