What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
