Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
