Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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