He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
