last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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