just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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