His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
