I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
