You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
