Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
