You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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