you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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