Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize