Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
