Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
