I'm jealous of your bromance
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
