YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
