fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
