it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
