the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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