I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
