I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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