Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
