At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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