i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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