At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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