we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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