What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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