I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Is it penis luge time yet?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
