dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize