So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
