how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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