so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
