i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
