im drinking this country out of the recession.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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