Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
