So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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