so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Randomize