good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
