he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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