He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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