I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
