So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
