she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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