thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
