I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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