the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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