I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
