Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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