Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
