Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Come share oat with me in your robe
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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