A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Where is the hickey?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize