biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
