I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
