I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
