ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
