She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
