If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
