I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
