so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
