Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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